Too Cute, Pretty, and Sexy
by torinokomachi
Summary: Part of the Muses Library series. The unfortunate thing of genes, is when your inherited appearance, backfires you and cause you way more trouble and unnecessary incidents more than it's worth. "Mom, why do I have to be born cute?" (Inspired by "Terlalu Tampan" webtoon". Cracky and not meant to be taken seriously. Mostly non-chronological drabbles and Unreliable narrator ahoy)
1. In which there's an exposition

_The fortunate thing of genes is that you get to inherit nice things from your parents in case of appearance._

 _The unfortunate thing of genes, though, is when your inherited appearance, backfires you and cause you way more trouble and unnecessary incidents more than it's worth._

 _Like right now, I am being chased by a mob of ladies and men who all look like they're at their 30-40's._

 _I am Midoriya Izuku and I'm... too cute._

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 _Mom, why do I have to be born cute!?_

* * *

"Why do you _always_ get caught in these kind of fucking shit on a daily basis?!" Kacchan groaned when Izuku got to class.

"Like you're one to talk! I know you got some girls chasing after you too!"

"Don't you fucking remind me Deku!"

While the two boys bicker, their classmates whisper.

"Ah, there they go again."

"You know, makes me wonder if Midoriya's quirk is his cuteness."

"But he's quirkless, must be nice to have good genes."

"Not worth it from what we see daily. Bakugou has it as bad as Midoriya did."

"Screw having a quirk or being quirkless man, with their good looking genes, they're having the life. Midoriya's cuteness put a girl to shame that he attracts boys and Bakugou is so sexy that Mountain Lady declares she wants to marry him when she caught sight of him once."

"That is true... must be nice to be as cute as Midoriya. I want a hot-looking guy to look at me for once."

"And I want Mountain Lady to notice me too..."

And that is their daily life in middle school.

* * *

Now here's a little history.

Once upon a time, there are two best friends, Midoriya Inko and Bakugou Mitsuki.

Midoriya Inko and Bakugou Mitsuki are infamous for their impossibly good looks that make them attract a group of fan boys and some girls back in high school.

Midoriya Inko is a cute, sweet angelic girl and also infamous for having a temper when push comes to shove.

Bakugou Mitsuki, is tomboyish, rough, and aggressive back in her old days, but she is also noted to be very _very_ sexy and has a fanbase on par with Inko's.

So it was a sad day for the fans when they got married and soon forget about the duo. But they're still remembered as they take online streaming of fashion tips as a side job for additional money and is raking too well.

Fortunately, their children are boys. So they won't worry about teaching their kids about dangerous men that want them for impure reasons.

But unfortunately, their children faced the same thing as they do back in high school as they inherited their genes.

And they experienced it way too early back in elementary where young Izuku was almost kidnapped at age of eight if not for Bakugou's explosions. The perpetrator was arrested for attempted kidnapping and accusations of pedophilia.

Then comes another incident for Bakugou where he got kidnapped by some crazed ladies and Izuku saved him. The ladies are arrested too of course.

And thus, Midoriya Izuku and Bakugou Katsuki have a vitriolic friendship as they bond with how having good looking genes just _suck_ a lot. Sure there's the problem of Izuku being quirkless, but the real menace is the problems of having really good genes.

The end.

* * *

The last year of middle school had been a total roller coaster discounting the usual mob chasing him for his cute appearances.

There's that meeting with All Might and All Might soon declared protection and claimed him as his surrogate son, making use of his original form to scare the heck out of the mob going after him.

It works like a charm and Izuku has never been so grateful... training asides.

Bakugou had to know, of course he does. They bond over woes of being attractive for so long, hiding from his currently only friend feels like betrayal.

Bakugou took it as well as he could have taken it and swore secrecy.

When the two boys finalize that they want to attend Yuuei, there were many tears from fans who are begging for them to not be a hero and be a model instead so they can still ogle at their respectively cute and sexy appearances.

They failed.

Midoriya Izuku and Bakugou Katsuki are going to be heroes and no one will stop them.

* * *

They got into Yuuei with flying colors and things were normal... until one day, Izuku was unusually late and arrived some time before homeroom ends looking so tired and battered.

"...Midoriya, why are you late?" Aizawa asked.

"Got chased by a mob."

Aizawa stared at him incredulously... then Bakugou groaned. "You got chased by those fucking old ladies and men again?"

Now the class stared at them both wide-eyed. "Again!?"

Aizawa asked the most sensible thing. "So you're not lying?"

"Why would I? This has been happening since I was eight."

And that was when the class started a Deku protection squad which extended to Bakugou when Kirishima and Kaminari found him being chased by crazed high school girls.

* * *

During the last day of the term and before summer break, Todoroki came late, his clothes singed and partly frozen.

"...Todoroki, why are you late?"

"...There was attempted kidnapping on me."

Izuku and Bakugou seems to have found out the hint. As Izuku dramatically gasped. "Don't tell me... you're just like me and Kacchan!?"

That got the class wondering.

Todoroki answers. "Mother is known as an icy gentleman killer who has many exes before her marriage and her excessive beauty is passed on me."

The class gasped and soon had the Protection squad extended to him as well.

* * *

Todoroki neé Shimizu Hyouka was an icy beauty at her youth, no pun intended just because she has an ice quirk. She was such a beauty she had many fans wanting a date but it gets annoying. And she doesn't want to break their hearts.

She settled with giving her fans weekly dates and breakup so in a sense, she has lots of exes.

And thus, was one of the reasons why her parents agreed to getting her engaged with Todoroki Enji, A.K.A., hero Endeavor.

Because she doesn't even have a stable relationship.

She was not pleased.

She was interested at the idea of having kids but not in a forced marriage.

The first three children are going to grow normal unlike her, which she was grateful for because the genes of being pretty is just not worth it at times.

Then came her youngest son, Shouto, whom had both her and Enji's quirk, and also inherited so much of her beauty.

However, Enji was more interested in pushing her poor young son to training once his quirk manifested and when Shouto is five, she decided to make use of her old beautiful fame.

And call her exes.

So it was a surprise to one Todoroki Enji when the Todoroki household was bombarded by an army of Hyouka's exes.

Enji still kept up with training Shouto, but came to have a slight fear and respect at Hyouka. And so the training was lessened.

However, Shouto had to face some cases of kidnapping and fangirl (and fanboys) attacks due to his beauty.

So there was a good thing to Enji keeping up with training Shouto's quirk.

Because Shouto has permission to burn and freeze the perpetrators in case they go too far.

* * *

"...That's the gist of it." Todoroki finished explaining.

Izuku and Bakugou placed their hand at Todoroki's shoulder.

"Welcome to the "Getting excessive attractiveness from parents suck" club."

* * *

 **A cross-post from AO3.**

 **Terlalu Tampan is an Indonesian webtoon that parodies Bishounen tropes. The webtoon title itself literally means Too Handsome.**

 **I had to make these three victims for this fic because I want to make a parody and also want to write some crack and happy because I keep seeing fics that make me feel sad.**

 **\- torinokomachi**


	2. Deleted Scenes are like bloopers

**Well... I realized I made a mistake of marking it as "In-progress" when it's actually completed.**

 **But rather than disappoint some people, I decided to write some stuff that are more of a "Deleted scenes" kind of thing. But as I want to focus on "Middle Ground", I'm only putting up entries if there are suggestions or if I have some ideas.**

 **Any suggestion are welcomed but as it is, this is a crack fic with no plans of heading to a serious direction so any dark ideas will be dismissed.**

 **Thank you for the support and your understanding. And without further ado, here we go for the first three deleted scenes!**

* * *

Bakugou Katsuki: The Interlude

 _Sometimes, having good looks is nice. You can get things you want just by looks alone._

 _But other times, it's fucking inconvenient and annoying._

 _Like now, I'm being surrounded by gushing fangirls._

 _I'm Bakugou Katsuki and I'm... too sexy._

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 _Being sexy has it's pro's my ass you old hag!_

* * *

"Dude, what the fuck is wrong with those girls? That's like sexual harassment!" Kaminari looked back at the girls who scurried away.

"Like you're one to talk when you hang around the grape bastard almost all the time." Bakugou grumbled.

"That's a different story!"

Kirishima got an idea though, and gasp. "Don't tell me... it's like Midoriya's!?"

"Eh, it's not as common as Deku but it happens most of the time." He shrugs.

Kaminari and Kirishima shared horrified looks and informs the rest of the class, the Deku protection squad extending to him as well.

* * *

Todoroki Shouto: The Interlude

 _Being pretty can be advantageous, but it's mostly disadvantageous and discomforting._

 _Thus here I am, with partly singed and partially frozen uniform._

 _Starting at people attempting to kidnap me run from being burnt or frozen._

 _I'm Todoroki Shouto and I'm... too pretty._

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 _Mother, I admire you and am truly glad to have you as my mother, but inherting this beauty from you is too much for me._

* * *

"Welcome home Shouto... again?" His mother greets as he comes home tired.

He nods.

Mother smiles. "How about cold soba for dinner? I'll tell Fuyumi that since she's cooking dinner."

"That's wonderful mother."

It's always nice to come home with a favorite food to relief himself of a tiring day.

* * *

Mr and Mrs Todoroki

"I hear Shouto has frozen and burned some unpleasant people."

Todoroki Enji, for a moment, felt a shiver on his spine at the hidden malice underneath the smile. "I taught Shouto to do that in case they go too far." He answers honestly.

Hyouka smiled brightly. "Ah, that's a good choice. Our children need to learn how to defend themselves from people like that. So I approve of you training all four of our children." Hyouka's bangs shadowed her eyes as she faced down and gave a far too bright smile. "If you do go far... you know what happens right? Dear?"

Todoroki Enji swallowed an inaudible gulp, remembering the army of Hyouka's exes, as he smiles back at the menacing but tranquil curve of a smile at his wife's face. "Yes, honey."

Truly, the quiet and kind ones are people to look out for.


	3. If it works for them, then good

**Right, so the Sports Festival Arc seems to be a huge demand, I currently have no ideas for how to write it but I'm still noting and planning to write it. So have this instead. Spoilers for manga chapter 98 onwards so tread with caution.**

* * *

Bakugou Katsuki's Matchmaking 101

Bakugou Katsuki is pissed.

Well, he's perpetually pissed but this just takes the cake.

Right in front of him is tail man and invisible girl. Sitting at the sofa.

Nothing wrong.

But to him, something is definitely wrong.

Because he's seeing all these mushy hearts between them but nooo they didn't even want to act on it.

He knows these two are pretty close but since Yuuei got changed to a boarding school, these two got even closer but he wasn't even sure why in the flying fuck aren't they acting on their supposed attraction to each other.

"That's fucking it!" He slamed his hand on the table and went over to the two yet to be couple who stood up as they heard him slam the table.

"I don't get what the fuck is on but what does being silent have to do with anything!?"

Everyone looks at him now, but he's ignoring it.

"So tail man," He stares at the tailed boy. "Do you still want to hang out with invisible girl even if she can be a handful?

"I do but-"

"And invisible girl," He turns to her. "Do you still want to have fun with tail man even if he can be a spoilsport sometimes?"

"Yeah but-"

"Then I now announce you man and wife!"

Ojiro and Hagakure are both flustered at the turn of events. "Wh- what-"

Then Bakugou went behind Ojiro and pushed him to where Hagakure was. "You may kiss the bride!"

What happened was that Ojiro fell on top of Hagakure and even though she's invisible, everyone can tell that they probably kissed.

Cue lots of squeals from the girls and a group of the boys congratulating them.

Meanwhile, Deku stared at him incredulously.

"Was that necessary Kacchan?"

"Yes. Yes it is."

He gave a smug, proud grin over at Deku.

* * *

 **This whole drabble is a homage to a favorite scene of mine from Not Always Black And White by RunsWithScizors. They're my favorite comedy author.**

 **A bit of a warning is that there maybe some tease for ships in this fic but as this is a crack fic, they're mostly mild and can be taken like a grain of salt.**

 **I'm still working on Middle Ground stuff but I should be able to come up with an USJ and Sports Festival chapter soon.**

 **On an unrelated note, Terlalu Tampan, the webtoon this crack fic is inspired of, now recently has official Japanese translations at the Japanese line webtoon, xoy, under the title "イケメンすぎて～悩める男の日常~". So here's to hoping the official English translation may come soon!**

 **\- torinokomachi**


	4. Too Cool has joined the party

**Um, wow it had been so long since I last updated this.**

 **As of right now, my interest of fics I want to focus just keeps changing and now I want to focus on my two OC Fics, Skyline and RE: Pair that I had poured all my soul and passion on in creating, both of which I uploaded to spacebattle forums. (Skyline is AO3 exclusive)**

 **I recognize that some people may not like OC's but I personally like OC's and there are good OC fics out there. Not all fics that involves an OC are automatically bad.**

 **That aside, Terlalu Tampan now had a movie adaptation! I have never felt so happy that a webtoon got adapted into a movie. I missed the premiere sadly but I'm hoping for the day it gets released on DVD for me to watch at home!**

 **Anyway, onto this chapter!**

 **I'm getting rusty with how to write crack so do bear with me.**

 **\- torinokomachi**

* * *

Shinsou Hitoshi: The Interlude

 _You know, in a world of quirks and heroes, having a quirk that is seen as bad is guaranteed to have you be shunned by everyone else._

 _But you know what else is worse? Having really attractive genes that are inconvenient for a majority of the time._

 _I'm just here minding my business, ignoring the whispers of the girls in class._

 _I'm Shinsou Hitoshi and I'm... too cool._

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 _Mom, I'm not sure if being considered as that super cool-looking student is an upgrade compared to being called a villain for my quirk. I'd rather not be chased around. It's bad for my insomnia._

* * *

Shinsou Hitoshi came to class 1-A with hopes of declaring war. Not getting caught in a fangirl and fanboy screaming festival.

As he grew up, the stigma of being called a villain due to his brainwashing quirk grew less and he gets called as the kid with the most cool look ever among every other kid in school, coming from how his mom used to be famous as a cool beauty in her youth.

It was a welcome change compared to being called a villain at first, but right now? It's just too annoying.

Before he can speak a word, the explosive blonde kid along with a green haired freckled boy got out of the door, staring at the crowd.

The blonde growled. "The fuck is going on here? Are you here for a fucking fight?"

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Cue screams from the girls around the crowd and he picked up hearing one of the girls sighing dreamily with his ear. "Oh my god he's so sexy growling like that it's hot."

Okay, getting disturbed at that.

It's followed by the green haired kid smiling, looking deceivingly angelic and cute as he did. "Can you please let my class through?"

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And now some of the boys are screaming along with the girls. There was one loud scream declaring. "MARRY ME!"

...Getting even more disturbed now.

Shinsou Hitoshi is stuck in between the crowd as the screams ensue and stared at the two kids who caused the screams to start in the first place. He can't help but smirk.

Didn't think he'd meet someone that had the same problem of getting excessively good genes like he did.

Unfortunately, one of his female classmates who is standing near to where he was saw the smirk and screamed it to the world. "SHINSOU-KUN SMIRKING IS SO COOL!"

Well. There goes his first impression on the two kids.


End file.
